The Cookie Banner Triage

We need a cookie banner that is not just decorative: [OUR SITE, WHAT TRACKERS WE ACTUALLY RUN - ANALYTICS, ADS, SESSION REPLAY, WHERE OUR USERS ARE - EU, UK, CALIFORNIA]. Triage it: which rules actually apply to us and why, what must be true about the banner under each (real reject button, no pre-ticked boxes, consent before firing), which of our current practices break those rules, and the consent-tool features we need versus the ones vendors oversell. Give me the compliant banner copy. This is triage for a privacy-pro conversation - flag where counsel confirms our exposure.